Hello Love Birdies!
Today, I am writing you from Wuhan,
Hubei Providence, China! I am sipping the most deliciously hot green tea and
eating fantastic dim sum. As I sit at my
table, across from me a date is clearly occurring. The dating scene is quite interesting in
Chinese cultue. Here the men run the show. Which is a bit refreshing after
having to the one who makes the first move.
At least that was my experience with Alexander, who was really shy and
slow to ask me out. This leads me a
question I just received regarding relationship statuses.
------------
Dear
Sara,
I’ve
been seeing this girl for a few weeks now, and I found out yesterday that she
has been calling me her boyfriend. I am not necessarily opposed to the idea of
us being boyfriend and girlfriend but it wasn’t a conversation we ever really
had. Is this something you think we should talk about or is it something
couples just sort of evolve into?
Perplexed
in Providence
Dear Perplexed in Providence,
First off, how do you feel about this
girl? You seem to like her but I don’t get the feeling you are really into her. It sounds like you are
both on different pages and this “label” conversation needs to happen.
Communication—in all forms---is the number one most important rule in all
relationships. I was once head over heels for a guy whom I was casually dating.
I wanted so much more and wanted it much more quickly than the relationship was
ready for. Basically, I forced it without seeing how he felt about it.
Ultimately, it freaked him out and I lost out on what might have been a really
great pairing.
Here’s what I would do, I would have a
real conversation with her about your feelings for her and how you see her
fitting into your life. Maybe it is just casual with no labels, but maybe its
more (and awesome for you both!). keep the conversation light but honest
because if you ultimately make her your
official girlfriend, or possibly something more serious, you are going to want
to have communication at the forefront of your relationship.
Best of luck, dear PP, and I can’t wait
to hear how the conversation goes!
<3,
Sara
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