12:00 AM

Meeting the Parents



Hello Love Birdies!

Today, I am writing you from Wuhan, Hubei Providence, China! I am sipping the most deliciously hot green tea and eating fantastic dim sum.  As I sit at my table, across from me a date is clearly occurring.  The dating scene is quite interesting in Chinese cultue. Here the men run the show. Which is a bit refreshing after having to the one who makes the first move.  At least that was my experience with Alexander, who was really shy and slow to ask me out.  This leads me a question I just received regarding relationship statuses. 
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Dear Sara,

I’ve been seeing this girl for a few weeks now, and I found out yesterday that she has been calling me her boyfriend. I am not necessarily opposed to the idea of us being boyfriend and girlfriend but it wasn’t a conversation we ever really had. Is this something you think we should talk about or is it something couples just sort of evolve into?

Perplexed in Providence





Dear Perplexed in Providence,

First off, how do you feel about this girl? You seem to like her but I don’t get the feeling you are really into her. It sounds like you are both on different pages and this “label” conversation needs to happen. Communication—in all forms---is the number one most important rule in all relationships. I was once head over heels for a guy whom I was casually dating. I wanted so much more and wanted it much more quickly than the relationship was ready for. Basically, I forced it without seeing how he felt about it. Ultimately, it freaked him out and I lost out on what might have been a really great pairing. 

Here’s what I would do, I would have a real conversation with her about your feelings for her and how you see her fitting into your life. Maybe it is just casual with no labels, but maybe its more (and awesome for you both!). keep the conversation light but honest because if you ultimately  make her your official girlfriend, or possibly something more serious, you are going to want to have communication at the forefront of your relationship.

Best of luck, dear PP, and I can’t wait to hear how the conversation goes!

<3,

Sara

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