Nǐ hǎo Love Birds,
I am slowing recovering from my jet lag with the 12 hour time difference between home and China. Whoa, it is incredible here, Love Birds. There is so much happening around me I am not sure I can fully articulate it--especially with my lack of sleep. Check out my insta, as you know, pictures are worth a thousand words.
Now on to the most important part of my trip: LOVE!
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Dear Sara,
Yesterday, I was helping my boyfriend do some much-needed spring cleaning. Seriously, he is like a teenager and can hardly take care of himself, let a lone be trusted to clean up after himself! I was upstairs prepping his winter coats for summer storage when suddenly I found a receipt from a local jewelry store for a $3,400 diamond ring! Valentine's Day has come and gone and my birthday isn't anytime soon, so unless he bought this ring for someone else, I am the intended recipient. He is a nice guy and all, but more often than not I feel like I am his mother and have to dress him, cook for him, get him to work on time, and clean up after him. Honestly, I was thinking I might actually dump him soon, but now I am panicking; I wasn't expecting this. Sara, help! I am stuck!
Surprised in Seattle
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Dear Surprised in Seattle,
First thing's first: take a deep breath! Alright, feeling better? Okay, now take one more. and let's process this slowly: basically, you have been feeling ready to end this relationship and suddenly you just found out your boyfriend has the exact opposite feelings. Feels like the awful sting of cold water on the face, doesn't it? Honestly, this happens way more often than we might think; the amount of messages I receive from Love Birds such as yourself that find they have been on drastically different wavelengths than their partner is quite surprising. But fear not, of all of the questions I receive I feel strongly that this is the easiest one to answer.
You have been feeling stuck in a rut for who knows how long and have arrived comfortably at the conclusion that you want to end your relationship. A $3,400 ring can't change the way he has lived his life for the past X years and it isn't going to suddenly change him now. Just because you are the woman of his dreams doesn't mean he is the man of yours. Andif he wasn't the man of your dreams yesterday when you woke up, then please don't let him buy his way into your dreams tonight. In the 21st century, any respectably mature man should know that a conversation about marriage ought to take place before he springs that kind of money on a ring and pops the question unexpectedly. I've had this conversation numerous times with my Alexander and we both agree that multiple conversations will happen before even one cent is saved to buy a ring. First things first, find out if you can actually live with guy before deciding if your lives can be joined permanently.
Here is what I suggest: don't even let on that you know he bought a ring, I would just proceed with your original plan and find a way of slipping that receipt back into a place where he can find it, because he is going to need it!
<3
Sara
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