Bonjour, Guten Tag! I am back after a long but incredible travel break. I am so sorry I have been absent these past few months! Okay, I'm not really sorry, Love Birds, I have been solo traveling around England, France, and Germany and it was amazing!
I was a bit nervous to travel solo--as it was my first time! My dear Alexander has a debilitating fear of flying *le sigh* I tried to not let it get me down and chose to let it inspire me instead. I met so many new and interesting people, ate so much schnitzel, foie gras, and drank the most delicious french champagne and hefeweizen!
And now, here I am back in my cozy apartment in the states again and ready to begin answering your questions! The brief travel hiatus has allowed for a flood of really great questions from Love Birds like you, so it's time to start working my way through them and I will start by answering one of the most frequently asked questions:
Dear Sara,
Last week I received a text from a close friend of mine with an attached photo and in this photo stood my fiancé and another woman whom I've never seen before. It didn't look like they were doing anything so obviously nefarious in the photo, but it looked like they were out at a restaurant and they were clearly having fun. Really, that wouldn't have been the end of the world except the photo was taken at a time when he texted me to let me know that he was running over on a project at work and would be home an hour or so late. The whole situation gives me a really bad feeling and I want to just confront him with the photo but I don't know how or what I should say. Sara, can you please help!?!
Embarrassed in Cincinnati
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Dear Embarrassed in Cincinnati,
You would (or perhaps maybe not!) be amazed at how many nearly identical questions are submitted to me every week crying over your similar situations. Cheating. UGH! Let's call it the other C word. Embarrassed in Cincinnati, you are not alone.
Let's start first with the lie: he told you he was at place X but you have proof he was at place Y; do you confront him with the photographic evidence or do you ignore it? A nearly identical situation presented itself to a dear friend of mine a few years ago and she chose to confront her boyfriend about the photo; the funny thing is that this ended up making her look like she had asked someone to tail her bae around town keeping tabs on him. Well, the really funny thing is that she actually had paid someone to tail him...so let's ignore that comparison!
Let's start fresh: do you confront him with the photographic evidence or do you ignore it? To both, the answer is no. You cannot just go up to him waving your cellphone in his face with the photo, but you also cannot ignore the obvious lie he fed you. Here is what I would do: next time he is "running late" at work, ask him out for a drink afterwards to help him unwind. If he is really flippant about not wanting to go out with you after, that's a bad sign. If he sounds eager, then what it could mean is that he genuinely was up against the wall with a deadline at work and chose to swing in for a drink on his way home to unwind. The girl in the photo may have been a co-worker and they may have just completed an huge project at work and wanted to celebrate their accomplishments. Either way, if you come in too hot and heavy with the accusations then you could end up with egg on your face and have a big mess to clean up afterwards, but if you play your cards right you might just find you were seeing a mountain where there really was a molehill!
Keep those questions coming, Love Birds, and keep your eyes peeled for another answer to one of your questions next week! And remember, #neverdatealone
<3
Sara
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