Hello Love Birds!
This is my first week back to RL and let me tell ya it is not as fun as traveling...Ha! I have been trying my hardest to get back into a routine but all I want to do is to sit in the warm sun and sip espresso. However, there is one thing that I have really missed, and it is you, Love Birds! It feels great to be back blogging and answering your questions again. So here's a question from a few weeks back that I think every young Love Bird has grappled with at one point or another:
Dear Sara,
I've worked at my current office for nearly eight years now and have been single for most of that time. I've dated a little bit here or there, but for the most part I feel the men I meet see me as a girl who is just really great with computers and numbers and somehow they don't see me as dating material. That all changed when a new software engineer transferred into our office from out-of-state. He's funny, charming, smart, and he always flirts with me at work. Finally, a couple of weeks ago he asked me to grab drinks with him after work. All day long, I felt like time could not move quickly enough as I stared at the clock on the wall, desperately wishing for it to strike 5:00 p.m. Once the time came, we cozied up at a great bar near my apartment and everything seemed to be going fine until work was brought up. Once this happened, it was like he was a train that couldn't be derailed. All he could talk about was work; work work work! I left very confused but thought maybe he just had a bad day so I asked him out again a couple of days later and the same thing happened. Even though he sends some pretty strong signals, once we get to talking about work it's like I am no longer a prospect for him and I might as well be sitting in my cubicle again. Do office relationships just simply not work because of this, or is there some way to get around this trap?
Desperate in Dallas
------------
Dear Desperate in Dallas,
You have discovered the difficultly with dating as an adult: Most of our prospective partners are co-workers. Congrats! But in all honesty, work is a major part of our lives and it can be really great to meet someone who can truly understand that aspect of our lives. With this amazing relationship bonus can come some unwanted frustrations. Remember that work was your first connection to each other and this can really be an asset. Instead of thinking of the times conversations turn to work as annoying and negative let it be a chance for you two to connect even farther. If he brings work up, it's obviously on his mind, which means
there's a chance for you to help him process through whatever it is that
is on his mind. If you help him get through it, then the chances are
the conversation will eventually turn in a much more personal direction
again. But if after a few more tries it seems like he is incapable of
talking about anything with you other than work--even after you explicitly ask him personal questions and try to change the subject--then that isn't a flaw
with coworker-on-coworker relationships, it's probably just him. Fingers crossed for you, Desperate in Dallas!
<3
Sara
No comments
Post a Comment